Men's Experiences of Violence
This page of the IHH website is provided for men. IHH recognises that male as a definition includes cisgender, transgender and non-binary identities.
IHH recognises that male as a definition includes cisgender, transgender and non-binary identities.
IHH recognises that male victims are not a homogenous group. We have provided advice and links to services with a view to supporting all Oxford University student male survivors, regardless of socioeconomic group, sexual orientation, religious belief, gender of the perpetrator, and how recent the incident.
Any individual’s experience of and reaction to sexual violence will be nuanced in different ways by their identity and this is no less the case for male-identifying people. This page of the website has been designed to correspond to the unquestionable gender differences regarding how men experience sexual violence.
Some Things to Keep in Mind
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Experiences are Gender-Specific
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All Reactions are Valid
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Male Victims Exhibit the Same Distress
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Gender Norms can be Challenging
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Always Seek Help if you Need it
Experiences are Gender-Specific
In line with the paragraphs above, research suggests important gender differences regarding how men experience the trauma of sexual violence, how they access services and respond to interventions. If you feel that your reaction has been influenced specifically by your gender identity and your masculinity, this makes complete sense.
All Reactions are Valid
All reactions to a sexual violence experience are valid. There is no ‘normal’ way to respond to an experience of sexual violence, and it’s important to recognise that you will not be alone in whatever it is you’re feeling. Whether you find yourself experiencing disempowerment, confusion, behavioural changes, anxiety, changes to the way you relate to your masculinity and sexuality or something else, everything is valid.
Male Victims Exhibit the Same Distress
In the period after your experience, it may be that you’ve run into certain received ideas about how men experience sexual violence. These myths are often rooted in societal gender norms and faulty assumptions, rather than actual evidence. For instance, one faulty assumption is that men would and should experience less psychological distress after a sexual violence incident than women. Research suggests that male victims exhibit the same level of psychological distress as female victims, and indeed that the highest levels of PTSD are reported by male victims of same-sex sexual violence.
Gender Norms can be Challenging
The societally constructed gender straitjacket that requires men to be dominant, heterosexual, tough, non-vulnerable and always desiring sex / female attention can make it challenging to identify yourself as a survivor, since this recognition would not fit the gender mould. You may have found that you downplay your experience to yourself and/or others and feel prevented from discussing it openly. This reaction is completely understandable, as much as it is a good idea to avoid downplaying and bottling up.
Always Seek Help if you Need it
It goes without saying that you are so much more than what this stupid set of gender norms expects you to be, and that there is no shame or weakness in addressing what has happened, and accessing any of the resources available, both in and out of Oxford. In line with our intersectional approach, IHH recognises the unique struggles faced by male survivors and hopes some of the services linked below may be useful to you.
Resources
SurvivorsUK
Survivors UK supports men, boys and non-binary people who have experienced sexual abuse at any time in their lives.
They offer:
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The National Male and Non-binary Survivors Helpline
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Call 0808 801 0332 (open Monday to Friday, 10am-12pm)
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Use their webchat (open everyday, 12pm-8pm)
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Text 0786 003 1252
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A database of male-focused sexual violence support services here
In London, they also offer:
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Support groups
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Individual counselling
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call 0203 598 3898, email info@survivorsuk.org or complete their online referral form
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Safeline
Safeline offers a comprehensive range of services to people affected by sexual violence regardless of gender.
They run a National Male Survivor Helpline and online support service::
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call 0808 800 5005 (open 10am-3pm, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday)
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talk via the webchat
Respect
Respect is the central helpline for male victims of domestic abuse.
They offer telephone, email and webchat support with an explanation of what to expect when getting in touch.
There’s also a page to help you recognise abuse behaviours and a page containing advice for male victims.
Mankind Initiative
Call 0808 800 1170
Open 10am-4pm Monday to Friday
The Mankind Initiative is a helpline is for male victims of domestic abuse, as well as their family/friends/ colleagues.
They offer listening support and information.
They also offer a Directory of Local Services (click here).
Men's Advice Line
Men's Advice Line is a helpline is for male victims of domestic abuse, as well as their friends or family.
Call 0808 8010327
Open 10am-5pm Monday to Friday
Free and will not show up on telephone bill
Non-English language interpreter available
Accessible to people with hearing and speech difficulties (via Next Generation Text)
Live chat available online, available 9am-10am Monday to Friday
Email info@mensadviceline.org.uk
They have both male and female advisors. It is possible to request a male advisor specifically.
Their website also has legal information factsheets.
This service is provided by Respect, a registered UK charity fighting domestic violence.
Male Survivor Partnership
The Male Survivor website is managed by the Male Survivor Partnership. On this page you can access a Directory of Services listing support throughout the UK as well as research pertaining to male survivorship and a page dedicated to myths and facts.
The Male Survivor Partnership Standards are used by sexual violence services to evaluate their support to male survivors. You can see the list of accredited services here.
1in6
1in6 offers detailed descriptions to help you make sense of your experience, support yourself, take action, and reach out to others who can offer support. It also offers online counselling and helplines.
For 24/7 access call 0808 500 2222
For a male specialist helpline call 0800 800 5005 (Safeline)